Oh, S**t!

As 2009 begins, the State of Washington faces many pressing issues, most notably a projected $5+ billion deficit, rising unemployment, aging infrastructure and gridlock on our highways. I’m heartened to hear that our dedicated legislators are hard at work in Olympia, fighting for the citizens of our state with such groundbreaking legislation as SB 5038, “An act relating to making technical corrections to gender-based terms.” This behemoth is 397 pages and meticulously details the changes to be made in each law currently on the books.

I wish I were kidding, but I’m not. Someone has carefully – painstakingly – searched out each gender specific reference and replaced them: person in place of man; he or she in place of he; chair in place of chairman…you get the picture.

This is the kind of meaningless gesture of which liberals are fond. They can point to this exercise in futility to show how sensitive they are to gender issues without actually accomplishing anything of value. Or doing any thing crazy like actually showing some respect to the opposite gender (Sarah Palin ring a bell?).

That being said, if they’re set on doing this, they ought to go all out and do it right. I’d like to offer a suggestion. Rather than replace “he” with “he or she, ” which is awkward, I suggest we  a whole new third person pronoun, “s**t,” which is a combination of “s/he” and “it,” and cleaned up to make it suitable for children.

Consider this excerpt from RCW 4.24.040 and Code 1881 s 1226.

he s**t shall do it at such time and in such manner, and shall take such care of it to prevent it from spreading and doing damage to other persons’ property, as a prudent and careful man person would do, and if he s**t fails so to do he s**t shall be liable in an action on the case to any person suffering damage thereby to the full amount of such damage.

Works nicely, don’t you think?

S**t. I would have to say that pretty much sums up how I feel about our Legislature wasting their time on this pointless, well, s**t. To the Labor and Commerce Committee, however, it was so important that they considered it as one of their first pieces of business.

The legislature could be considering the supplemental budget, passing cuts that would start saving the State money right now. Instead, they’re working on this.

S**t indeed.


Filed under Uncategorized

5 responses to “Oh, S**t!

  1. be glad they’re not actually considering financial business… if they were, your taxes would soon be skyrocketing..

    let them mess with this pointless s**T until its time for the legislature to adjourn, that’s what I say!

    • paulag1955

      Unfortunately they have to get onto the budget eventually and there’s going to be hell to pay this year after four years of reckless spending.

  2. Back in my military days (Viet Nam vet) one of the cool Black guys pronounced it, “sheeit.” That may prove a better alternative to s**t as it would save wear and tear on the asterisk key. Of course, the southerners solved this problem a long time ago with “y’all” – the plural form being “all y’all.” Not funny, but true.

    Nice bit of satire, Paula. Thanks.

  3. Ok, there had to be a study done, reccomendations made, all by people being paid by the taxpayers.
    Be interesting ho much this piece of s**t legislation cost to sign.
    How many children will “starve” because the legislature spent money on semantics rather than school lunches?
    Weird how libs determine what is cost effective.

    • paulag1955

      Don’t forget the cost to comb through all the laws AND regulations on the books looking for gender disparities, too. But I’m sure most of my neighbors support this s**t!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s